The relief and courage that comes with cooler days

Turning dreams into reality as summer turns into autumn

I love the end of summer. After my initial resistance about the days getting shorter, the first rainstorm of the season felt like a breath of fresh air. Today, the crisp and cool morning that followed last night’s storm brought a spring in my step and a calmness in my mind. I can feel the back-to-school energy building up, ready to get back into the game after the long and lazy summer days. Slowly, I feel the anxiousness of spending another day inside melt away.

Don’t get me wrong. I very much love the height of summer too, but I also find it a slightly strange time. It’s as if everything and everyone is a bit dysregulated, including me. People are hot, energies are high, and I feel like I need to be out in the world all the time. Each hour working or relaxing inside feels like one too many, and my thirst for adventure is insatiable. I am hungry to soak up every ray of sunshine before summer is over again.

From that point of view, the first cool and rainy day brings a sense of relief. Like, thank god, we’re going back to normal. I take a deep breath as the feeling of having to be everywhere and do everything before the sun runs out wanes. There’s the realization that even on cooler days, it might still shine, and it’ll most definitely return next year. I enjoy focusing on (work)projects again, getting back into my workout routine, and eating something other than salads and smoothies.

This getting back-in-the-game vibe also has me reflecting on my priorities for the rest of the year. With a little help from an embodied coaching session and the boldness of the full moon last Monday, I’ve been shedding some old skin and making some big-ish decisions that’ll take me one step closer to feeling vibrantly alive. It feels good to leave the distractions of summer behind and re-focus on some of the things that got a bit lost in the summer heat.

Hot summer days are almost behind us…

As I slowly edge closer to the life I want to live, old layers of frozen tension are brought to the surface. More often than not, my biggest dreams trigger some very uncomfortable feelings. They ask me to step out of my comfort zone, to do things I’ve never done before, to be someone I’ve never been before. Things that can feel pretty nerve-racking.

Last time, I wrote about how incomplete stress cycles get stuck in our bodies as layers of frozen tension, but not all stress is equal, and not all stress is bad. Essentially, stress is a subconscious response designed to keep us safe. A stressor, whether externally (your boss shouting at you) or internally (a thought), triggers a complex chain of events in our neuroendocrine system. Hormones like adrenaline and cortisol increase the glucose in our bloodstream, make our heart beat faster, and send more energy to our brain. A useful physiological reaction if we’re chased by a wild animal, taking an important exam, or competing for an Olympic medal. Less useful if all we want to do is to step out of our comfort zone toward our goals and dreams…

There are always two things at play in our evolution:

1. The conscious, surface desire for more. To expand, to grow, to evolve. 

2. The subconscious, interior desire to feel safe. To stay within the confines of what it knows. ¹

Realizing our dreams, our desire for more, asks us to step out of our comfort zone. We must willingly step into the chaos of the unknown. This often triggers our subconscious desire to feel safe. But before we let ourselves be pulled back into the safety of what we know, we must ask ourselves: would you rather take a risk and possibly fail or die without even trying?

Taking the risk requires a lot of courage, and conquering our shame and fears is a big part of that. Somewhere along the way, I realized, however, that almost all the shame and fears I experience are in some way socialized. They’re based on beliefs I have about myself or the world. These fears helped me be accepted, fit in, and feel safe as a child. But they don’t help me follow my dreams and live my best life as an adult. As a privileged 30-year-old who’s lucky enough to live life as she chooses, these beliefs keep me safe - yes - but they also keep me small.

Sometimes, I am engulfed by the fear of not doing enough or even being enough. This fear often makes me feel unsafe when I speak my truth or follow my desires. So when I do, layers of frozen tension resurface, making my heart race, my cheeks flush, and giving me an imminent urge to hide. The voice in my head starts asking me questions like “Who are you to write about this?” or “Shouldn’t you be doing x/y/z (insert ‘important’ things) before you go and do some that excites you?“ You can imagine that if I’d let myself be driven by my subconscious, I’d never get closer to those dreams. That’s why I believe that realizing our dreams starts by making the unconscious conscious.

Knowing that our unconscious stress responses are mostly socialized and rarely indicate any 'real threat’ helps. Even though it may feel that way sometimes, there’s no life-threatening danger in my friends, family, or colleagues disapproving of my life choices. I practice staying present with the uncomfortable sensations, and by engaging my awareness, focusing on my breath, and moving my body, I bring myself back to a feeling of safety. Ready to take another step outside of my comfort zone.

Embodying our truest selves will not put us in danger. Instead, showing up and living life as our most authentic selves might actually enhance feelings of safety and connection with(in) our bodies. Looking at it this way, doing the things we dream of that scare us the most only brings us closer to our essential selves. It’s hard, and it can bring up strong, unpleasant feelings, but that’s when I ask myself: would I rather take the risk or die without even trying?

✍🏻I’d love to hear how you feel as we slowly transition from summer to autumn. And, of course, when the last time was that you did something that scared you. Let me know in the comments!

1. A quote borrowed from

vienda